Everyone has a bad neighbor, whether you live in a home, condo, or apartment complex. They might not necessarily be a bad person, but they are a bad neighbor.
You know them. Everyone does.
- The neighbor who never mows their lawn until forced to.
- The neighbor who thinks there’s nothing wrong with mowing their lawn at 5:00 a.m. on a Saturday.
- The neighbor who uses their lawn as a parking lot for the 6 vehicles they own.
- The people who party every weekend until the wee hours of the morning.
- The family that always gets visits from the police.
Well, for awhile now we’ve had a neighbor who is a fine neighbor, but a horrible person.
As a neighbor I have no complaints against her. I never hear her music or TV. She never has loud parties. She quietly comes and goes. I have no idea which car is hers, or if she has one. In the few times we’ve crossed paths she has always said with a smile “hi” or “how are you?”. She seems nice. “Seems” being the operative word.
On a cold winter Texas night (probably 40ºF), my wife and I arrived home from dinner or shopping. When I parked the car, at the top of the stairs on the second floor I saw what seemed to be a comforter just laying there.
I figured someone was doing laundry late at night and when they walked the laundry up the stairs it fell unnoticed on the ground. Surely at some point they would miss it and return. It was late enough that I thought it wouldn’t be wise to go knocking on doors to find out who lost a comforter. I didn’t want to be that neighbor!
As we got out of the car and walked up the stairs, my suspicions were confirmed: it was a comforter. But, wait, there’s more! Wrapped in the comforter was a young boy. My wife and I looked at each other quizzically and we stepped around him and I opened the door and let my wife in our house with our bags from wherever we had been shopping.
I then walked out to talk to the boy.
“Excuse me, are you okay?” I asked him.
He moved and looked at me. In spite of having a comforter, he was obviously cold.
He said nothing, so I asked him, “do you live here? Do you need help?”
He told me his sister kicked him out of her apartment and he pointed to the “seemingly” nice neighbor that lived across from me. He couldn’t have been over 10 years old.
“Why did she kick you out?” I asked.
“Because I was playing a game.”
Oh, okay, that makes total sense. NOT!
“How long have you been out here?”
He had no idea. Why would he? He’s a 10-year old kid who although I’m sure he knows how to tell time, is still at the age when time doesn’t really matter. It’s still some responsible adult’s responsibility to make sure he ends up where he needs to be when he needs to be there, whether it be school, church, sports, or other activities.
My wife opened the door, asking many unvoiced questions with a worried look. I went inside to talk to her. I explained it all.
“What should we do?”
I was worried for the kid. He was obviously being neglected. The boy needed to come in from the cold, but I was worried if I let him in our apartment his sister would claim we kidnapped him. I didn’t want to call the police since he looked okay, other than being cold.
I went back outside and asked him whether he had knocked on her door to get in. He mumbled something about having done it awhile ago but she didn’t answer. I suggested he try again. He went and knocked on the door. Nothing. He knocked again. I couldn’t hear a response, but he did, and he asked to be let in.
I went inside my apartment and closed the door, but looked out the peephole as it gives me a direct look to her apartment.
After a few seconds, the door opened, and he entered dragging the comforter behind him.
My wife and I then talked about it and how we felt bad for him and wondered how someone could do that to family, let alone a kid.
A few months passed by and my wife and I came home late. At the bottom of the stairs I saw a woman holding a child. I found it odd and immediately wondered if this had something to do with the “seemingly” nice neighbor.
I was right.
As we started up the stairs, I saw that the lady also had a suitcase with her and a child car seat, with a baby in it. It was late.
I asked if she was alright.
She informed me that she had been kicked out of her “friends” house. Yes, the same friend who her brother out. Turns out she came with her two kids to visit her friend, and after it was too late for her to find other arrangements her “friend” decided she didn’t want them there, so she kicked them out and then she left with other friends to a party.
So, this single mom had nowhere to go. Her phone had died and she didn’t know what to do.
I asked how I could help. She needed a place to stay.
My wife and I went inside and wondered aloud how our neighbor could be so cruel. We wanted to help this woman and her two kids, but I had no idea what to do. Our apartment was far too small to host them and my wife, although sensitive to the issue, did not want them to stay there.
I opened the door and invited the young woman in to use our phone. She made some phone calls but no one answered. Not that they didn’t care, but they were all sleeping. That’s how late it was. The neighbor totally screwed over her friend and left her hanging in the wind.
I fired up the internet and looked up some women’s shelters. I had no idea where most of them were located within Houston. Many indicated that check-in was mandatory by 5:00 p.m. to get a spot. Some of them had contact numbers, and when I called them either no one answered or they indicated to leave a message and someone would get back with me the next day.
I felt bad for this young woman.
She used my phone again and got a hold of someone. The person on the other end suggested she look for other alternatives at it was too late (or something like that) to come and get here.
Holy cow! No one, not even supposed “friends” were helping this woman.
I sent a text to a leader in our church to see if he was up. He responded rather quickly that he was so I called him and explained the situation and asked if he had any resources or contacts within the community that could help. He had some ideas and said he’d reach out to them and get back to me.
After further internet searches I finally found a woman’s shelter that was open and that could take her. I put the young woman on the phone and she talked to them. She then hung up and I said we’d drive her there.
On the drive I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. It was an awkward drive. I didn’t want to pry into her life but I also didn’t want a silent drive. Turns out she came to spend the weekend with her friend and then at some point her friend decided it wasn’t a good idea and she kicked her out. She didn’t have any money, food for her kids, and was ill-equipped to deal with the whole situation. She was 20 years old, had a baby and a toddler, and the father of her kids wasn’t around.
We finally ended up at the woman’s shelter, which was clear on the other side of town. I had no idea where she’d go from there.
I carried in her suitcase and duffel bag while my wife helped with the toddler while the lady carried in her baby.
The place seemed nice enough, considering the alternative. A lady came out to take care of some paperwork. She also went and got some guy who came out to talk to her. He was large, kind, and he had obviously seen this scenario far too many times. He told her she would be taken care of and that she didn’t need to worry. She started crying.
My heart was torn. Torn for her kids, for her, and her life choices. I was grateful that I’d never been in that situation and prayed that I never would be.
I then spoke to the receptionist lady since I had no idea how this place worked. She said the young woman would be able to stay there for awhile (I think up to 30 days) while she got back on her feet. There were resources available for the girl to access.
I felt better after that, but still wondered how someone (the neighbor) could do this sort of thing to her brother and to a friend with two kids.
A few weeks later my wife brought up the story and indicated that she saw this woman and her two kids with her “friend” at Walmart. I couldn’t believe she’d actually go back and hang out with her after her despicable behavior.
If you have “friends” as bad as the neighbor, you need new friends.